


You're Not Hallucinating, Surprise!

by quantum27



Series: a cup of good intentions (tron one shots) [20]
Category: Tron (Movies), Tron - All Media Types
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Character Study, Conversations, Gen, Self-Indulgent, rated because uh swearing i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28353783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantum27/pseuds/quantum27
Summary: Or, Flynn reflects a little on the Solar Sailor.
Series: a cup of good intentions (tron one shots) [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872664
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	You're Not Hallucinating, Surprise!

The fact that the first thing he says is ‘ _ This isn’t Happening, It Only Thinks It’s Happening.’ _ is not that surprising. To anyone else it doesn’t make that much sense, not really, he realizes this. The thing was. Flynn had just assumed he was hallucinating. 

He was at least eighty percent sure he was in a manic state (Or hypomania?  _ Damn _ , the terms always got switched around and cluttered in his head,). The lack of sleep, his racing thoughts had left rubber marbles in their wake, arousal, his slap-dashness when it came to the hacking job- There were a dozen or more reasons he could list off. And then this…?

Well, Flynn hadn’t thought he had gotten  _ that  _ bad. But what did he know? He’d only hallucinated a couple of times, all back at college. And he really didn’t want to repeat the experience, especially now he was medicated. Still, when this had all started he’d simply just. Assumed. That it was a hallucination. 

Though it had felt. Far Too Real. In every possible sense of the word. Each of his five senses had been fully engulfed in it just like in real life. Still, he wasn’t exactly an expert on his own brain in any capacity. He barely knew what was going on in his own brain when he wasn’t in a state.

And he’d  _ always wondered _ what it would be like in a computer…

He could do a whole monologue about it probably. But that was beside the point. 

Granted, just cause he Really Was in a Computer. Did not mean his mania was automatically over. Granted he found himself able to push through it considering the circumstances, but now as Flynn stood calmly on the solar sailor he- 

Well, he was having racing thoughts right now,  _ obviously. _ And he’d had a few spikes of various emotions just randomly- But. 

“This….this  _ is  _ happening. It isn’t just in my head, huh.” He clicked his tongue, leaning on the solar sailor railing, overlooking the grand view of the system. 

“Should it be?” 

Flynn jumped, turning to Tron, who he had assumed was still standing with Yori over by the control console but evidently had made his way back over to him.

“Should it be what?” 

“Happening in your head?” Tron cocked his head to the side, and Flynn realized he was genuinely asking. It wasn’t a lead in to some sort of mocking or cruel joke. 

“Well, it’s certainly not good if it was.”

“That implies similar things have happened ‘in your head’ in the past before.” 

Flynn huffed out a laugh, “Clever. Yea well. They have. Sorta.” 

“Do...Do Users often have things like this happen?”

“In our heads? Oohh, no they don’t.” 

Tron frowned, “But you do?”

“Well, I have had it happen in the past, but I hope it doesn’t happen again- Hallucinations, I mean. You do know what those are, right?” 

Tron nodded, brows furrowed in concern. 

Flynn sighed, going to run a hand through his hair, before realizing he was still wearing a helmet, “Well. Let’s just put this a different way. My brain is a bit.  _ Broken _ .” 

Tron raised his eyebrows, “I’m not sure I follow.” 

The User’s eyes flickered as he tried to think of something that would make sense, running a hand across his jaw, “Imagine...Imagine that my ‘code’ is a little glitched up here-” He pointed to his head, “And it makes me do weird things-  _ feel _ weird things sometimes. But uh- I take medication- Almost like uhhh temp. Temp patches? God, I’m not sure if it translates, but basically, it sorta fixes it a touch. But not fully, I’m still glitched in the head.” 

The security program nodded slowly, “I think. I understand a little. Apparently, I need to talk with more User-oriented medic assistance programs.” 

Flynn giggled a little at the phrase, “If you want to, man.” 

Tron was quiet for a moment then, “Those medic assistance programs really. Do help. _Injured_ _Users_ don’t they?” 

“I mean, what else would they help- Though my head-stuff isn’t exactly. An injury but whatever.” 

Tron looked out to the ground far beneath them, it’s movement mesmerizing as it fell behind the sailor, “It just occurred to me that. Users. Can get injured. Or have…’glitches in the head’.” 

“Ohhhhh yeah, no we’re not perfect by any means, Tron. Not in the Slightest.” 

The security program remained silent, his face setting into a frown. Flynn scoffed. 

“Hey, come one, man. Don’t be like that.” He slapped Tron on the shoulder, who jumped, “Just because we’re not so different doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.” 

“I didn’t say that.” Tron replied flatly, but with a side of banter interlaced underneath his tone.

“Oh  _ sure _ . But you were Thinking it.” 

“And how do you know that-”

“Ah, ah, ah, shhhhhhh,” He put a finger against Tron’s lips, “Doesn’t matter  _ how _ I knew. Just matters that I knew.” 

Well, it was all in his eyes- And his shoulders. Flynn had only seen shoulders that tense on one other person. Alan Bradley.

Tron pushed his hand away with a roll of his eyes, a smile dancing on the edge of his lips. Flynn smiled back, sparkles in his eyes. 

“Tron. I do want you to know one thing.” 

“Hm?”

“I’d take this  _ whole _ experience over a fucking hallucination any day. Hell, if everything happened the exact same way, I’d do it all over again…” He hesitated, “Even the Bad parts.”

The security program looked at him for a moment before replying slowly, “I’ll never understand you, Flynn.” 

“Ha! Me neither.” 

Tron simply shook his head and made his way towards the other end of the sailor, likely to look back around. Like some sort of patrol- as if there were anything to patrol when they were on a literal flying ship. Seems like the guard dog in him never stopped. 

Flynn turned back to leaning on the railing. The system really was beautiful. And the colors…? 

Well… It was odd. But they almost reminded him. Of himself. 

Or his states, at least. Mania, specifically. The brightness of it all- It was hard to describe. 

When he closed his eyes and tried to describe it, the way it worked, all he saw was colors. Colors of all kinda swirling and mingling in him- his entire body and soul. Then it would settle to more normal tones as his brain rightened itself out. Or it would be overwashed by the inky tones of a depressive state. Either way…

At the end of the day, it was all  _ part of him _ . It was him. He might’ve been. ‘Glitched in the Head’ but it was  _ him,  _ dammit. 

And yeah, right now he was stuck in a manic state. But this was really happening. Right now. 

  
“This  _ is _ happening. Ha!” He shook his head. 

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea if this is coherent but this hc is so near and dear to my heart in so many ways,,,,last time i wrote about this subject i said it was just projecting but the more i think about it the more it makes sense so idk??!?


End file.
